Awesome Blackhead

back zitThe zit is roughly in the middle.

blackhead shaped like penis

The blackhead close up. About 7mm of goodness.

This awesome blackhead came out of my friend’s back.

I didn’t know what a pleasure it is to squeeze someone else’s blackhead until I tried the other day! The results of this makeshift surgery have fascinated me and my friends. Read on.

Last Sunday my girlfriend and I went to pick up our friend “Dan” to go swimming at a Southern California man-made lake beloved by redneck motorboaters and immigrant families (without boats). I had my doubts about the quality of swimming at such a place but decided to go anyway.

We came by Dan’s house to witness an odd scene. His girlfriend was taking a picture of his naked back in front of their house. He was seated on a bench and she was shoving this huge digital camera in his back.

My girlfriend and I were delighted to see what the camera was looking at. A nice sub-skin level blackhead. Very dark and juicy. Dan said he suspected a carcinoma or something else of the worst sort. Being a pessimist he discounted our blackhead diagnosis. The purpose of the photo was so he could see the thing because it was in the middle of his back and virtually impossible for him to see in the mirror.

He put his shirt on and off we went to the motor lake.

The lake was a disaster. Only one out of five beaches was open. We  were not allowed to swim further than fifteen meters out or else the lifeguards were going to whack our heads with oars. Not that you could swim anyway–the little patch of water was packed with screaming kids. To add insult to injury there was a baptism going on too. Like the stuff you see in the movies. A white shirt wearing minister was submerging poor souls into the muddy water of the motor lake and cleansing them of earthly sins (while dirtying them with oil slicks).

The scene was just too dense so we drove to the opposite side of the lake and set a camp on the shore next to a storm wash. We even tried swimming there knowing a lifeguard would kick us out of the water. The climax came when a white twentysomething tweaker came down to fish next to us. He was covered in tattoos. Kind of stuff you see on prison shows when they profile Aryan Nation inmates. Not a minute after he arrived his buddy came down to have a fist fight with him. Accusations were flying. Did he kiss his underage girlfriend or not? Was he at his house last night or not. The white guy kept calling his friend as a “bro” and “bitch” alternately. It was something else.

Dan stood up to separate the guys.

So we decided to separate ourselves from the lake and drive to the ocean for a decent swim at the end off a long day. We swam a little and then I looked at Dan’s blackhead again. It was not on my mind that whole time but when I spotted it I asked him if he would mind me trying to squeeze it out. He had no problem with that and laid down on the beach towel for me.

I pressed my fingers around the blackhead. The thing bunched up and I noticed that the blackhead was sitting in a little crater. It was a bit lower than the surrounding skin. I was still afraid that it might have been something other than a blackhead so I backed off. I paused for a second and decided to go for it anyway. I pressed although not very hard and a 7mm long blackhead snaked out of it’s wormhole.

Then it got all Freudian. The blackhead looked like a little penis. If you look carefully at the photo you’ll see that the skin hugging the blackhead is turned inside out a bit like a defecating anus. Why was I squeezing zits on another dude’s back at a public beach?

I could not answer this question. I just asked for a camera to document the result. It’s amazing how steady my hands were after this long day. Here is one sharp photo to prove it.

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